Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Still Crazy After All These Years

I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once -- or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Is there another word for synonym?

The speed of time is one-second per second.

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?


Blogger Rayke said...

The speed of time is one-second per second.

Ha! That was awesome. So was the "merging your car..." one. Good laugh. Thanks.

2:57 PM CDT  
Blogger Sara said...

Betty, these are hilarious. I was taught to be polite and courteous. There's definitely some truth to that statement.

3:55 PM CDT  
Blogger Heather Dawn Harper said...

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

I have to send this one to my parents. :)

5:14 PM CDT  
Blogger X. Dell said...

Such wisdom in these old sayings. I remember the day my father told me, "Son, light a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. SET a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

5:27 PM CDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hehehehehe, Betty ;)

9:47 PM CDT  
Blogger Michele said...

I've never seen these before. What fun!
Thanks for, at least for me, a Wed. AM chuckle. What a nice way to start my day.

6:40 AM CDT  
Blogger Shay said...

hi betty!
sweet I might have to borrow a few of these, with you permission.

5:30 PM CDT  
Blogger Betty S said...

RYC: borrow away, my friend. They didn't originate with me anyway.

7:15 PM CDT  
Blogger Betty S said...

Shay, I couldn't get your blogger blog to come up.

7:16 PM CDT  
Blogger Shay said...

I think it's because I haven't posted anything yet?

i'll have more time next week to update

6:47 PM CDT  

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