Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Still Crazy After All These Years

I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once -- or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Is there another word for synonym?

The speed of time is one-second per second.

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

10 Comments:

Blogger Rayke said...

The speed of time is one-second per second.

Ha! That was awesome. So was the "merging your car..." one. Good laugh. Thanks.

2:57 PM CDT  
Blogger Sara said...

Betty, these are hilarious. I was taught to be polite and courteous. There's definitely some truth to that statement.

3:55 PM CDT  
Blogger Heather Dawn Harper said...

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.


I have to send this one to my parents. :)

5:14 PM CDT  
Blogger X. Dell said...

Such wisdom in these old sayings. I remember the day my father told me, "Son, light a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. SET a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

5:27 PM CDT  
Blogger Bonnie Ferguson said...

Hehehehehe, Betty ;)

9:47 PM CDT  
Blogger Michele said...

I've never seen these before. What fun!
Thanks for, at least for me, a Wed. AM chuckle. What a nice way to start my day.

6:40 AM CDT  
Blogger Shay said...

hi betty!
sweet I might have to borrow a few of these, with you permission.

5:30 PM CDT  
Blogger Betty S said...

RYC: borrow away, my friend. They didn't originate with me anyway.

7:15 PM CDT  
Blogger Betty S said...

Shay, I couldn't get your blogger blog to come up.

7:16 PM CDT  
Blogger Shay said...

I think it's because I haven't posted anything yet?

i'll have more time next week to update

6:47 PM CDT  

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