Thursday, February 01, 2007

Freezing Fog and Thunder Snow



Tonight the Prognosticators of Precipitation were describing in great and glorious detail the white crap that was falling out of the sky. (And more’s to come, they tell us!) Reporters gave out dire warnings of road conditions (With video of every fender bender, flipped car or truck, and an 11 car pileup.) I was sitting with my family in front of the TV, feeling glummer than ever, when suddenly Mike Morgan looked straight into the camera, into my living room, into our already nervous eyes and warned us, with great meteorological solemnity to be on the look out for “Freezing Fog!”

Now my first thought was “Oh My God! Freezing Fog.” (I’m a real coward when anything more solid than a raindrop falls from the sky and freezing fog sounded pretty serious.) “We’re having Freezing Fog!” Suddenly I began laughing hysterically, “What the hell is Freezing Fog?” All around the room, equally puzzled eyes reflected a shared confusion. “Well, fog is when moisture hangs suspended in the atmosphere,” I said. “Maybe it’s little specks of ice that hang suspended, like sparkling white lights hovering across the road, spearing unsuspecting drivers as they slide into it.” My husband suggested that it may be more of an ice cube hovering like a frozen Borg (from Star Trek) in the atmosphere. You could walk into it and knock yourself out. Or worse, demolish your car as you slam into a wall of ice that shatters every piece of frozen metal or flesh that’s in its path. Or maybe it freezes everything it touches, like Mr. Freeze in Batman. Or like Lot’s wife, I would suddenly turn, not to salt but tiny frozen crystals that would scatter in the heartless wind.

Hold us in your prayers and healing meditations as we battle this unknown force. Do a ritual of protection and light the most powerful candle you've got. Freezing fog is a little known enemy and it’s dangers are deeply hidden. While we have scance understanding of this demon we face, we are determined to face it with great courage.

AND. . . if the storm intensifies, there is even a possibility of “Thunder Snow!!!”

Only in Oklahoma!

11 Comments:

Blogger Heather Harper said...

And you wonder why Yankees think we're ignorant...

I think news anchors are poisoning our society with stupid.

Candle lit.

9:28 AM CST  
Blogger Rinda Elliott said...

You know, I hardly comment these days because I have more trouble. Have to sign in every stinking time and then the comments still disappear.

Okay, my first one said to cheer up, Sweetie. Embrace this weather. Look forward to tonight, when you can curl up with a blanket, a book and a hot cup of coffee with Baileys or that thin mint chocolate liquor I told you about. Yum.

I'm going to post that song on my blog today and send everyone here. (g)

10:44 AM CST  
Blogger Bonnie Ferguson said...

Sending you good weather vibes, Betty :) I love the picture you used for this post.

12:45 PM CST  
Blogger X. Dell said...

I've lived four years in Wisconsin. I've never seen freezing fog.

Funny that here in NY, we had a light dusting of snow earlier this week, but that's been it for the whole year. It's been too warm to snow. Sounds like someone has switched NY with OK City. You might want to take a look outside to see if you see a big green statue standing in the harbor.

10:00 AM CST  
Blogger Rachel said...

Freezing fog? Hmmm! Sounds like a politician in a snit.

3:17 PM CST  
Blogger Betty S said...

Yep, Heather, it's the Culture of Fear propigated by the media to increase their following and thus advertising sales.

Rinda, Baileys was a great idea!! Of course, thin mint chocolate liquor also had it's appeal. I just didn't have any.

Thanks Bonnie. I googled Freezing Fog and came up with it.

XDell, I don't have a harbor, but I drove around the lake. I didn't see a statue, just a very short non-effective lighthouse. She may have sunk by the time I got there.

Rachel, I had never considered that possibility. But... Campaigns are starting early. You never know.

9:07 AM CST  
Blogger Heather Harper said...

Send me your address. You won the 3 free books. :)

9:27 AM CST  
Blogger Rinda Elliott said...

We need to make a song entitled Thundersnow!

5:58 PM CST  
Blogger Heather Harper said...

Hey Betty, I mailed your books via priority mail today. I tried sending you an email, but my rr account keeps timing out today.

12:50 PM CST  
Blogger Bonnie Ferguson said...

Happy Valentine's Day! :)

2:20 PM CST  
Anonymous rayke said...

Mike Morgan is obviously using fearmongering to his advantage so he can brainwash us into staying indoors. It's his first step torwards world domination.

Lucky for us, we have Gary England to keep us advised and Rick Mitchell, who "said it would".

This would make an awesome comic book.

5:18 PM CST  

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