Monday, June 19, 2006

Update and Profound Thoughts

Had a GREAT weekend.
Texoma lodge was really run down and we were very disappointed in it but we managed to have a good time anyway. In addition to the reading, writing, sketching, etc. we drove to Gainsville to do some shopping, won $55 gambling at a local casino, and spent Saturday evening playing pool and sitting on our porch sipping wine, smelling the rain and watching water droplets fall into the pool and on the leaves. The weather was overcast and cool the whole weekend and felt wonderful. We also took a class in archery. Let me tell you, I think Jenn and I have finally found "our sport". We are not the most athletic types, but we even stayed outside doing it when it started to sprinkle.

Last night Jenn and I met with some friends in Edmond to celebrate solstice. What a lot of fun. We made those little flower wreaths for our hair and spiral danced around a tree, singing and chanting. What a great end to a wonderful weekend.

I read this article on Bonyari's Blog and found it facinating. What do you think? Are there gender differences in friendships? Are women more backstabbing. At first I was a little insulted by it, but the more I think about it.....

Genders in Friendship and Backstabbing

I happened to watch a news program a few days ago. There were 2 authors talking about a book they wrote on genders and friendship, I think. It's supposed to be a general knowledge that men's friendship is activity-based, and women's friendship is affection-based (besides other common factors such as ages, education, class, social status...) Well, this is new to me since I never thought of it this way. A quick check on the friends database confirms this gender difference for me. My friends tend to be in groups that have little or nothing to do with each other. I have a group of friends that I went to school with. Most of us are physics, electrical engineers. We took the same classes. And the friendship was formed and grew through classroom activities. Then I have another group of friends who are Vietnamese. There's only one thing we share in common, our origin. I share my times between these groups of friends. I don't do every single activities with a group. My friends are activity-based, with only a few exceptional great close friends.

Women have a different type of friendship, I think. You ladies have partners in crimes, bestest of friends, twins... and you do every single thing together. Shopping, eating out, gawking at hot/cute guys, complaining about what an insentitive jerk your bf is, crying to each other in breakups...

I guess this is why we've seen more backstabbing in women than men. You know each other so damn well. And when a friend betrays, every little dirty details of your life will be revealed to the world. And that's not to mention the vengence. Man, it creeps me out thinking about how evil someone so innocent can turn over night.

Thinking about this now, I don't feel so bad that I never had someone that I can call best-friend. Don't get me wrong, I do have a few great friends who I trust and share my private life with. But even these, the friendship is not in the way you ladies call your bestfriend. I'd rather have a peace of mind than having a friend stabbing my back.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like a lovely weekend, Betty :)

9:23 AM CDT  
Blogger Heather Dawn Harper said...

Zen In The Art Of Archery is a spiritual classic. Jane Alexander, (from Kramer vs. Kramer) also recommended it to me as required reading in regard to acting. You could also apply it to any art, writing included.

9:49 AM CDT  
Blogger Rayke said...

Wait...are you guys pagans? (

Call me stupid for not knowing if you are or aren't, but I really didn't think of it until I saw the solstice thing...)

I have some pagan friends who went to Ohio for some big Pagan Spirit Gathering this week.

6:43 PM CDT  
Blogger Betty S said...

Jenn is. She is Wiccan. I'm a little bit of everything including pagan. If I really had to define myself, I would say Unitarian, Buddhist, NeoPagan. (I wouldn't have expected you to know. Since my house sits right on top of the buckle of the Bible belt, I don't talk about it a lot. Just this month Jenn got her car keyed by some Christians who tried to scratch Devil into the side of her door because she had a pagan bumper sticker. She may be getting a different car and now she's afraid to put anykind of sticker on it for fear of retaliation. So much for religious freedom, huh. Damned facists.)

11:13 PM CDT  
Blogger Betty S said...

check out

11:15 PM CDT  
Blogger Heather Dawn Harper said...


So sorry about your daughter. I'm Catholic and Buddhist. I can also feel the Native American and Celtic heritage in my blood AND I think that sort of behaviour is deplorable.

Those "christians" can Blessed Be my bohiney.

8:42 PM CDT  

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