Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Don't Ask - Don't Tell

I'm wondering if this should be one of those "don't ask, don't tell" weekend experiences.

Left for the conference on Friday afternoon, arrived late after meeting friends for dinner that evening, checked into my room at the lodge, killed a scorpion, killed a large black ant, stepped through the French doors out onto the deep twilight and after a few steps almost walked up on a skunk. (All this in the first 30 minutes) Ammanda and I backed slowly away from the skunk and didn't get sprayed, but it was an ominous beginning. Later that evening I started feeling bad, by noon Saturday I was under the covers in my room, where I stayed until I could get a ride back to the city on Sunday. When I arrived I found out that a family friend had committed suicide Saturday morning. (Funeral Friday) Missed work Monday and Tuesday because I was still sick, returned today, still exhausted, to learn of the death of someone else in a car wreck this weekend, and that another friend's son had attempted suicide last night. Then I had to leave in the middle of work to pick up my daughter, who works across town at the zoo, because she was throwing up and couldn't drive herself home. I haven't heard from my husband since early this morning, and I'm almost afraid to.

There is a theory that it was Scorpion karma coming back at me because I killed the one I met in my room instead of putting it outside. (Rinda, who doesn't kill anything, had run around the room saying, "Don't kill it! Pick it up! Let it Live!" Like I was really going to reach down and pick up something that could cause me great pain. Okay, I get her point, and she did say she was looking for a box. But I did go ahead and smack it with my shoe anyway.)

I don't believe the karma theory, of course. But then again....? Jeez.


Blogger X. Dell said...

My deepest sympathies, Betty. That sucks, royally. I'm sure your actions had nothing to do with other events, although sometimes it's tempting to think so--kinda makes sense of things.

I would be far more inclined to believe that your feeling of illness might have been triggered by an unconscious feeling that something wasn't right in your world. When we know someone, they become part of our lives, our consciousness, ourselves. I truly believe that people share psychic bonds with each other as they form friendships and their identities begin to meld.

Here's my wish that you feel better, and for a long, long, time.

6:38 PM CDT  
Blogger Heather Harper said...

I am so deeply sorry, Betty. Grieving is hard enough when you feel 100% physically.

God Bless you, your daughter, your husband...and the dear departed souls.


8:41 PM CDT  
Blogger Rinda Elliott said...

I'm sorry about all this. What a terrible week! That's too much. I've been worried since we dropped you off Sunday-- you looked so tired and ill. My daughter says her entire band is ill so something's making the rounds.

It is not Scorpion Karma-- promise.

And hey, I didn't want you to pick it up!!! I was going to scoop it up when I found something deep enough. And I've been known to kill scorpions and recluse spiders when my kids are threatened. When it comes to them, I turn killer on the hurtful critters. (g)

8:55 PM CDT  
Blogger Betty S said...

I know you didn't mean for me to grab it with my bare hands. I just had to poke fun at you.

After Sheila's demonic scorpion story, it is going to be "very" difficult to ever look at them with any sympathy again. We can blame this on Sheila.

And I stepped on one as a kid. They had to pull its stinger out with tweasers. They really really scare me.

I'm with you. Threaten my kids and I attack first and ask questions later.

9:49 PM CDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My condolences on your losses.

Also (((Betty & Family) on being sick.

6:26 AM CDT  
Anonymous Rachel said...

My sympathies are with you. What a terrible week. I sometimes think life is a roller coaster only we never really believe that it's going to go down sometime and when we're going down that it will ever go up. Hang on for the up part and scream.


6:49 PM CDT  
Blogger Betty S said...

Thanks Rachel,
I've found screaming always helps.

Remember when there was some kind of therapy back in the 60's that involved screaming. Primal Screaming, I think it was called.

Very cathartic.

10:21 PM CDT  

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