Thursday, April 13, 2006

Buddhist Computer Viruses by Dr. Richard Blackwell:


PHURBA VIRUS: annihilates anyone who sends viruses along with their computer and their server. also purifies the network.
CHENREZI VIRUS: downloads programme into your computer which causes computer to do nothing else but pray for all beings to the exclusion of any other operation.
KALACHAKRA VIRUS: downloads extremely complex ritual into the computer which operator must perform before computer will perform any other operation.
HAYAGRIVA VIRUS: enters computer through a back door and takes entire control of your computer by force.
TROMA VIRUS: chops your files and operating programme into small pieces transforms them into wisdom nectar then feeds the nectar to non-buddhist computers which it visualizes as demons.
MAHAKALA VIRUS: protects your computer from all other viruses but requires you to offer meat and liquor daily through a special opening with which it replaces your floppy drive. EKADZATI VIRUS: allows only one file on your computer.
PADMASAMBHAVA VIRUS: subjugates your computer and takes it with it on the path.
TARA VIRUS: only allows female operators access. causes computer to give long lecture to male operators concerning views on male-only enlightenment.
MANJUSHRI VIRUS: downloads a programme which causes your computer to begin an endless debate over any information you enter.
DZOGCHEN VIRUS: deletes all programmes including operating programme leaving only the blue screen of the unborn dharmata.
MENDROLING variation produces white screen of the clear light essence.

Dr. Blackwell: Healing-Touch-UK. (English)
Photo Source: http://www.eso-garden.com/index.php?/weblog/C5/

5 Comments:

Blogger Heather Dawn Harper said...

ROFL!!!

I vote for the TARA VIRUS. :)

6:22 AM CDT  
Blogger X. Dell said...

Heather, I think I have the Tara virus.

12:54 PM CDT  
Blogger Betty S said...

I'm biased toward Tara myself. What does this say about us, I wonder?

1:01 PM CDT  
Blogger Amanda McCabe said...

LOL! I love this!

5:43 PM CDT  
Blogger chacharon said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:24 PM CDT  

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