Sunday, January 08, 2006

My Secret Life

I am so distressed.
My life is being ripped open and cast into ruin by my supposed friends. Okay, ladies, I am naming names. Gena Showalter, Jill Monroe and Kelli McBride have tried to expose the link between me and my secret lover. (Long before Ben, of course.) In doing so they have created total falsehoods. TOTAL deceptions to support their cause.

I have NOT! I repeat ABSOLUTELY NEVER & HAVE NOT been involved with Nicholas Cage!!

If you will look very closely you will notice that "his" head doesn't match his body. That is really Brad Pitt, who I only wish I had an affair with. (Also before Ben, of course)

You need to also pay very close attention to "my" body in the photo. It is absolutely REAL. Yes. I am really that thin. Eat your heart out!

Betty S.


Blogger Kelli McBride said...

Betty, Betty, Betty. I have not touched that picture of Nicholas Cage. Please, admit the truth before we have to have an intervention.

It's okay. I once had a thing for Bernie Kopell. See, I can admit it freely.

1:16 PM CST  
Blogger Betty S said...

Bernie Kopell? !!!
Kelli, Kelli, Kelli.
Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.
Hang your head in shame.

Betty S

1:23 PM CST  
Blogger Kelli McBride said...

It was a time of exteme vulnerability, and I was sucked in by the Love Boat into thinking that Doc was as sexy as they tried to convince people he was. This whole period in my life was marred by too much Fantasy Island, Love Boat, and Dukes of Hazzard. It's a wonder I survived with any taste at all.

1:33 PM CST  
Blogger Betty S said...

That explains why you can be so deceived by these evil deceiving women into believing that anybody, and I mean ANYbody could be attracted to Nick.

We need to get some sage and do a cleansing of your mind. It has been corrupted by Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Dukes, and those terrible women.

Betty s

1:36 PM CST  
Blogger Kelli McBride said...

Actually, I found Nicholas to be very sexy in FACE/OFF (when he was the good guy).

I'm not a huge Cage fan, but he has his moments, and those EYES of his are luscious!

2:11 PM CST  
Blogger Dana Pollard said...

Kelli if you can admit to your 'thing' for Bernie Kopell, then I'll admit my past admiration for Dougray Scott. Years ago, I watched Ever After, DS was Prince Henry. I fell in total drool. I've recovered though.

I've been introduced to John DeSalvo... the man of my dreams...

And shame on you Kelli! You need to use the REAL picture with Betty and Brad. lol

3:07 PM CST  

Post a Comment

<< Home