Tonight the Prognosticators of Precipitation were describing in great and glorious detail the white crap that was falling out of the sky. (And more’s to come, they tell us!) Reporters gave out dire warnings of road conditions (With video of every fender bender, flipped car or truck, and an 11 car pileup.) I was sitting with my family in front of the TV, feeling glummer than ever, when suddenly Mike Morgan looked straight into the camera, into my living room, into our already nervous eyes and warned us, with great meteorological solemnity to be on the look out for “Freezing Fog!”
Now my first thought was “Oh My God! Freezing Fog.” (I’m a real coward when anything more solid than a raindrop falls from the sky and freezing fog sounded pretty serious.) “We’re having Freezing Fog!” Suddenly I began laughing hysterically, “What the hell is Freezing Fog?” All around the room, equally puzzled eyes reflected a shared confusion. “Well, fog is when moisture hangs suspended in the atmosphere,” I said. “Maybe it’s little specks of ice that hang suspended, like sparkling white lights hovering across the road, spearing unsuspecting drivers as they slide into it.” My husband suggested that it may be more of an ice cube hovering like a frozen Borg (from Star Trek) in the atmosphere. You could walk into it and knock yourself out. Or worse, demolish your car as you slam into a wall of ice that shatters every piece of frozen metal or flesh that’s in its path. Or maybe it freezes everything it touches, like Mr. Freeze in Batman. Or like Lot’s wife, I would suddenly turn, not to salt but tiny frozen crystals that would scatter in the heartless wind.
Hold us in your prayers and healing meditations as we battle this unknown force. Do a ritual of protection and light the most powerful candle you've got. Freezing fog is a little known enemy and it’s dangers are deeply hidden. While we have scance understanding of this demon we face, we are determined to face it with great courage.
AND. . . if the storm intensifies, there is even a possibility of “Thunder Snow!!!”
Only in Oklahoma!